Monday, December 1, 2008

power/less

24 hours later... couldn't sleep last night, so surfed for sites on a-ism and atheism. tell you what, the folks who are writing those "AA is a cult" sites are speaking my language, insofar as zeroing in on AA's insistence that you have to believe in a higher power, and that you are powerless, etc. Funny, I can easily accept that I am not in control (the one that really nailed it for me, my shrink saying, "I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth in 30 seconds."); but powerlessness FEEL different.

Oh bugger it all. I'm going to go to a meeting tonight and my poor temporary sponsor who really does have faith will get another night of struggling to reconcile with my happy atheism. But hoping to hit an SOS meeting (only one night a week, alas) some day, to see what the difference is.

In other news, I'm drawing out the death of this relationship i've been in by simply not seeing him, i keep eating chocolate, and i'm slowly, slowly working on my project. No great speed, definitely tortoise progress, but I'll take it.

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