Could this really be me starting to keep a journal again?

The situation I'm in right now is making me actually live by principles.

I avoid this thing like the plague. I don't keep journals anymore - if I'm not getting paid, I'm not writing, baby! but I think I have to return to the pen, as it were, to actually take a closer look at my life and maybe keep a record of what I'm learning, what I'm resisting, what's working, what isn't.

I am struggling every day not to stay sober, but to live in the now. The job, which is complicated and disappointing and frustrating and ego-deflating, is turning out to be a great teacher. I have nooooooooo control. Zero. Except in how I choose to live in this moment. So if I've got some principles to live by, or fucking cling to in this case, then I've got a better chance at better living. I can live fearlessly. IN THIS MOMENT i have nothing to fear.

I've got this sort of joke greeting to start the day with, said in a cheery way emulating how my daughter greets me in the morning from her room: Good morning, Day I have no control over! Good morning, Powerlessness!

Thing is, it makes me smile, and it pretty quickly puts things straight. That's exactly the situation I'm in. Now live.

(btw, the English language really screwed up with "live" - what would have been wrong with "live" and "lyve," or some other way of discerning the difference in the written word!?)

Powerless over that too, bitches.